“There’s been a murder on the Aurora Express!” the loudspeakers rumble, and I scream out of fear. There’s not much time before the authorities find me. I’m the nation’s top detective, and they’re gonna want me to solve this case.
Just as I’d thought, my car door slams open and two policemen and seventy police dogs spill into my cabin. The policemen are angry and the police dogs are also angry and honestly this entire train is filled with a lot of bad mojo, not good stuff.
“This is the famous detective?” the first policeman scoffs. Most don’t expect that I stand at around 5’2”, and this is because I’m always in a wheelchair. Detectiving isn’t always the safest business, and when it isn’t, I like to be in a wheelchair because sitting down feels safer for me.
“Don’t freaking disrespect him man, this guy right here is the best detective in the entire nation!” the second policeman nods as my sidekick Watson lectures them. Watson doesn’t do much or say much else. Watson pushes my wheelchair.
“There’s been a second murder on the Aurora Express!” the police are getting real agitated now. I’ve already solved the murders, but I have to wait for a few more for it to really hit the headlines—it’s all about the headlines in the detective world. “There’s been eight hundred and seventy seven murders on the Aurora Express!” That’s my cue.
“You see,” I start, “consider the locomotive model… subtract service and engine cars… order of cars based on class and race… ninety-four second delay between the murders…” “he’s in car seven?” Watson suggests, I swipe a backhand across his cheek for speaking. “Car seven. In the lavatory,” I conclude, and the police and police dogs pour out of our car. I follow close behind, unusually on foot, and Watson follows far behind, dragging my wheelchair in case I need it.
By the time Watson and I make it there, they’ve already got the suspect in cuffs. She’s still resisting, and she even spits at me, missing me entirely and hitting Watson entirely in the face. “Take her away, boys,” I smirk, taking a seat, and the policemen stand motionless. Case closed.